EntropySink
Entertainment & Artistry => Words => Topic started by: Stephen on September 11, 2006, 08:31:55 PM
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Some lyrics I'm working on (Trying a different approach this time. Normally I write music and then lyrics. Now I'm doing lyrics first, then write music to them.)
The voice of an angel, a perditious* "amen"
From the mouth of the preacher, from the ink in his pen
A lone body found at the scene of the crime
A paradise lost: a last paradigm
Like his meaningless cries**, he stole away
Took the words that he'd muttered, but failed to pray
For that darkening spectrum of ill-arranged flow'rs
Which grew as he walked off those last morbid*** hours
That creeped in his wake and followed him back
To that place where time was always a lack
They sat in a pew and shared one last bite
Of unleaven bread, sipped their wine, bade good night.
*considering substiting with "and a devil's" or "and a demon's" (I do really like the word "perditious," though)
**originally I had "like the meaningless life," but that was when I had a different plotline (for lack of a better word); however I think it may fit in context, so...
***considering substituting with "precious" for irony, however I realize that most won't realize what I'm trying to say anyways, so I may just leave "morbid"
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>>To that place where time was always a lack
That line grates, for some reason. I think it's because it looks forced.
>>*considering substiting with "and a devil's" or "and a demon's"
To me, that scans better.
I prefer precious too, but I like irony.
Other than that, looks good to me.