Author Topic: Q&A ... The English Cricket Team  (Read 4507 times)

[stealth]

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« on: July 27, 2005, 12:22:31 AM »
Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They
both wear gloves for no apparent reason

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
almost always takes a wicket? A. A bat.

Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
A. An allrounder.

Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss and Geraint Jones
have over the rest of their team-mates? A. At least they can say they're
not really English.

Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name? A. A
bowler.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
batsmen? A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why is Andrew Flintoff the unluckiest English player?
A. Because he was born in England.

Q. What does "Ashes" stand for?
A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

Q. What's the English version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
A. The person who ironed the cricket whites.

Q, Why did the english cricket team get so excited when they bowled out
Australia for 190 in the first inngs?  A. Because they avoided the
follow on .
...

ygfperson

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2005, 01:58:32 AM »
are there many non-english cricket players?

Rob

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2005, 03:30:18 AM »
:p

Silent Bob

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2005, 05:24:11 AM »
See, that one is  really funny, we were terrible, but to be honest you were better, not great.
Bought to you by an awful lot of monkeys a plethora of cheap PC's and a proofreader.

Experiments are under way to see if certain conditions and stimuli lead to better Monkey Typed Posts.

A Bit of Fruit

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2005, 05:29:22 AM »
this would probably be alot funnier if i watched the cricket...
i have a stationary fetish

ober

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2005, 09:00:02 AM »
Echo Farti.  I don't have a goddamn clue what 90% of that means.

Exluddite

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2005, 09:14:17 AM »
That makes three of us. Any time I've asked someone to explain cricket  to me, the reply I've gotten was "It's complicated".
Leave the gun. Take the canolis.

Govtcheez

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2005, 09:18:47 AM »
Quote from: Exluddite
That makes three of us. Any time I've asked someone to explain cricket  to me, the reply I've gotten was "It's complicated".

I've got a long PM conversation with adrian on cprog where he tried to explain it to me.  After all of that, I pretty much concluded 2 things.  1) It's complicated and 2) It takes a long time.

EA Sports makes a Cricket game - maybe that'd help? :)

ober

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2005, 09:25:10 AM »
Quote from: Govtcheez
EA Sports makes a Cricket game - maybe that'd help? :)

Somehow I doubt it.   :(

Govtcheez

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2005, 09:42:01 AM »
You're probably right, although I did (sort of) learn how to play snooker from Virtual Pool.

Perspective

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2005, 11:11:53 AM »
*flies over my head*

huh, wuzzuh?

Rob

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Cricket for Johnny Foreigner
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2005, 12:21:51 PM »
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

What's not to understand?

jkim

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2005, 12:45:37 PM »
Oh my gosh, Rob, thanks so much for explaining it.  I get the joke now!

Rob

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2005, 01:01:45 PM »
You know young lady, if I didn't know you better I'd say there was a touch of sarcasm in your voice.

:nyd:

jkim

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Q&A ... The English Cricket Team
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2005, 01:42:26 PM »
Who, me? :angel: