Author Topic: JOTD 7/10  (Read 1657 times)

[stealth]

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JOTD 7/10
« on: October 06, 2005, 10:07:21 PM »
Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......


BUMP........


BUMP.......


BUMP........


Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road

BUMP........


BUMP........


BUMP........


He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home.

BUMP........

BUMP........

BUMP........


He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster.........


BUMP........BUMP......


BUMP...BUMP.....


BUMP........BUMP......


The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him......


BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......


BUMP.......BUMP......BUMP......


BUMP........BUMP......BUMP......


He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .


BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.


BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....


BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.


Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, his hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase.....

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH..BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH..HOP...

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...

The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges....The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad.

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet...... He grabbed a bar of soap and threw it at the coffin.......still it came .

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed his can of deodorant and threw it .

Still it came......

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it. still it came......

BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...

He grabbed some cough mixture and threw it........

The coffin stopped.
...

A Bit of Fruit

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« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2005, 10:17:50 PM »
that was such a waste of my life reading that
i have a stationary fetish

ober

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« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2005, 11:22:46 PM »
Honestly... you suck at this.

ygfperson

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« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2005, 11:25:46 PM »
that was pretty funny... i can't believe i read the whole thing

kermi3

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« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2005, 11:55:24 PM »
3/10 - it'd be a 6 if it'd been 200 words shorter.
govtcheez03:  i kind of look for it - i seek out stupidity and annoy it until it either gets better, gets banned, or goes away on its own

[stealth]

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« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2005, 12:04:02 AM »
You guys have no sense of humour...
...

Mike

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« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2005, 12:56:05 AM »
it was a groaner.  Mainly because any American would have grabbed an axe long ago and turned it into firewood

kermi3

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« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2005, 01:15:51 AM »
what's humour?
govtcheez03:  i kind of look for it - i seek out stupidity and annoy it until it either gets better, gets banned, or goes away on its own

Govtcheez

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« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2005, 08:10:02 AM »
Haha, coffins can't drive!

pianorain

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« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2005, 10:06:35 AM »
Hahaha...I liked it.  7/10
[post=3832]axon[/post]: I hate it when people copy my originality :p

A Bit of Fruit

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« Reply #10 on: October 07, 2005, 11:01:27 AM »
Quote from: Govtcheez
Haha, coffins can't drive!

haha 8/10

/im drunk
i have a stationary fetish

drakkenkorin

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« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2005, 12:57:43 PM »
do you know how fucking long i looked at the fucking punch line waiting for something!

yo, this blew!
"I know that when I get home from work, I like to read the paper, sip a nice glass of Cabernet, and call people faggots on the internet.  Because I'm an adult." - Govtcheez

Govtcheez

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« Reply #12 on: October 07, 2005, 01:20:44 PM »
Quote from: Farticus Senior
haha 8/10

/im drunk

I can always count on you, Chris :)