To me, it's clear Jake is trolling, being coy about what he really believes, intentionally dodging discussion, posting "provocative" things but not engaging. He's is not here to have a serious discussion. That's his prerogative, of course. He's not required to have real discussions on these issues. But his style of posting does cause disharmony on a forum.
Mike is responding to Jake with I guess somewhat harsh words. (Honestly I don't know why you'd give him a 3 day suspension. Was it for "grow the fuck up"?) Certainly harsh responses can also cause disharmony on a forum.
From my point of view Jake's behavior is much worse for forum harmony. He is "starting it" so to speak. He's also a big boy and should be able to handle getting harsh responses that he's clearly looking for. I mean, Jake has joked about people being snowflakes so he should be able to handle a "grow the fuck up" once in a while. (Side note: who asks for their account to be deleted... if you're going to leave for the good of the community man up, give an explanation and just leave.) Point is I can't say that I agree with your assessment here, ober, at least in regards to forum behavior.
I like this community. I'd like it to stick around even with dwindling numbers. We all have to decide whether it's worth it for us or not. If Mike thinks Jake should leave or be banned because of his behavior he should say so and it should be decided. If Jake stays after that and it makes this a place Mike doesn't want to be, then Mike and anybody else is free to leave. I don't see why it's so hard.
By the same token, suspending people seems silly. We're not 20 years old anymore. If you have a problem with Mike's responses to Jake, then you say so. If you think those deserve consequences, you make it clear ahead of time what those should be and (although it's not my forum so maybe it's not my place to say) it feels like we should all have a say on those consequences. There's literally 8 of us and we're all moderators. Why is anybody getting suspended, let alone for replying to posts looking for attention?