Author Topic: White Flag  (Read 4883 times)

stealth

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White Flag
« on: April 30, 2009, 09:53:09 AM »
I am a crusty old sea dog
Or at least I look like one
but you
You
yes you my darling
are
as beautiful as they come.

Picture then, my fabled youth.

Were I the man I am today
I
would have had
courage
in spades
and confidence, burning in my cazzo,
instead of the mere drunkenness
of the lonely
scared witless
of somebody like you.

And you look at me now,
with that same kind of longing glassy eyed look
a look i know
all
too
well and now
have to turn my head away.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2009, 06:31:57 AM by kieran »

Jake

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Re: White Flag
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2009, 10:09:20 AM »
I like it :thumbsup: this is by far my favorite of everything you've posted here. Well done Kieran.

The last two stanzas are not as good as the beginning of the poem - I'd cut them out completely :)

Quote
all
too
well and now

//I think that is what you meant above
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

stealth

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Re: White Flag
« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2009, 05:54:05 PM »
Thanks Ax :) The last two stanzas are gone, thanks for the to/too pickup!

Knocked it off while just about to go to sleep after being up for about 20 hours, so maybe tiredness has assisted the creative process. 

Rob

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Re: White Flag
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2009, 04:41:50 AM »
You really need to start putting some of this to music.

Rob

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Re: White Flag
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2009, 04:43:49 AM »
>>burning in my cazzone,

Huh? I thought you meant pizza at first, but I googled it, and it means stupid person?

stealth

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Re: White Flag
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2009, 06:30:23 AM »
You really need to start putting some of this to music.

I know, I know.  I finally have a web cam, and about 5 days off work starting tomorrow, so I should be on track to get some time to record something.  I've got a YouTube a/c now, so I promise I'll get something up before the end of next week.

>>burning in my cazzone,

Huh? I thought you meant pizza at first, but I googled it, and it means stupid person?

Again, fatigue had set in - I meant cazzo (see: http://italianversion.blogspot.com/2005/02/rude-linguistics.html).  There is something wonderfully profane about swearing in Italian.  It means dick, but can also mean fuck.

Rob

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Re: White Flag
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2009, 07:31:03 AM »
You really need to start putting some of this to music.

I know, I know.  I finally have a web cam, and about 5 days off work starting tomorrow, so I should be on track to get some time to record something.  I've got a YouTube a/c now, so I promise I'll get something up before the end of next week.

>>burning in my cazzone,

Huh? I thought you meant pizza at first, but I googled it, and it means stupid person?

Again, fatigue had set in - I meant cazzo (see: http://italianversion.blogspot.com/2005/02/rude-linguistics.html).  There is something wonderfully profane about swearing in Italian.  It means dick, but can also mean fuck.

:)

Jake

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Re: White Flag
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2009, 08:43:23 AM »
>>cazzone

I knew what you meant but didn't know it was spelled wrong :p
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.