Topic: Antenkaten

[aran]

this poem is very brutal. enjoy.

Antenkaten
I knew you'd look at them
with a smile glued on to your face.
You and your filthy love.
You and your moving on.
Me and my regret.

I'll ask you to take out the trash.
I'll tell you what to do about the laundry.
You won't even know yourself anymore,
you dirty, dirty woman.

Consume you in all that i am
and take from you the one thing
that you have any claim on.
I'll take everything.
Cry again, please.
Love someone and let yourself loose on the world.

Dirty. Dirty.
Falling asleep at the wheel of your life.

A walking cliche
scandalous and evil
and ugly and stationary
in its dangerous movement
to here. To crush me.


I won't let you take me.

I'll take you first.

[Jake]

I like the way all the different thoughts here, are all centralized by a common theme. This theme, however, seems to be bitterness. Is that a good or bad thing, for poetry sake? well, each poet should answer that question for herself.

But again, similar comments could be attached to this poem, as I have done to the previous one. I hope, that they wont be taken offensively by you aran - but I am reflecting to what I am seeing, and I feel that I'm growing and learning along. I look at my past work, and a lot of it is similar. There might be decent images in there, but overall, they are not it, not deep, not reflecting the truth. I'll try to make more sense some other day - it's been a long night - but I hope you got some of what I'm getting at.

I'll post something all you guys visiting this forum would probably benefit from reading

[aran]

this poem is two parts:

1.) that of a male loking down on his wife/girlfriend--looking down on the emotionality f their life. This is how i see most males these days, except they dont' really articulate it at all besides in their actions.

2.) in this poem, i scorn the superficial male-female relations that our country has fallen to calling normal.