EntropySink
Entertainment & Artistry => Words => Topic started by: micah on March 04, 2019, 09:51:17 PM
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I've never been good at writing poetry, so sorry for the cliche simple rhyming patterns.
A stone can never wish to be
A stone may wish, though just can't be
a boulder strong and large
like steadfast boulders; large.
Yet only hope to weather now through
The torrent floods that charge.
While dDashed across those grandest envied rocks
And washed to worlds unknown
A pebble now with hopeless dreams
To be a simple stone.
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I’ve heard a thousand songs lament
and cry of crushing pain
The countless anguished written words
That poets etched in vain
Naive, I thought I understood
The aching artist’s heart
What untold voices failed to teach
Now time and life impart.
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Deception, like an ember drifting
Unseen in the breeze
Landing in a tired woods
It soon consumes the trees
Cloaked in ash what still remains
Which took so long to grow
The tired forest all but lost
From one small embers glow.
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I must have missed this post initially, too bad.
Micah, I think these are quite good! I especially enjoyed the first one. Simple but with nice imagery. I think with some more work this one can really turn into something special! I think you need to think what the message should be, because it does leave me a bit confused. On the one hand the stone cannot wish, but after its turbulent life which made it small now it can wish to be what it was. I don't quite follow.
Either way, thumbsup!
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...it does leave me a bit confused. On the one hand the stone cannot wish, but after its turbulent life which made it small now it can wish to be what it was. I don't quite follow.
Edited original post to add clarity. The stone could wish at the beginning, but it was futile.
Edit: hmm, just re-read it a few hours later and now it screws up the middle. needs more work.