Topic: Numb

[Steve]

Dont know exactly what this is, i was sitting here thinking bout some shit and i just started typing.

Fall through the ice, the ice that calls your frozen heart home. Gasp for air, only empty, freezing cold. Up is down, down is up, reaching for anything and finding nothing there. The emptiness is calming, the pain is my warmth. I scream your name but you cant hear me. No one hears the screams, no one shares my pain. Light fades fast, darkness beckons me in. I try to fight, i loose my will to try. My hope is gone, i am nothing but a part of the darkness deep in the ice. The ice you call a heart.

[Ken Fitlike]

Try formatting it, for example:

Fall through the ice,
the ice that calls your frozen heart home.
Gasp for air, only empty, freezing cold.
Up is down, down is up,
reaching for anything and finding nothing there.
The emptiness is calming, the pain is my warmth.
I scream your name but you can't hear me.
No one hears the screams, no one shares my pain.
Light fades fast, darkness beckons me in.
I try to fight,
I loose my will to try.
My hope is gone,
I am nothing but a part of the darkness deep in the ice.
The ice you call a heart.

That's quite nicely done - I enjoyed the imagery of ice and darkness which are simply summarised by the last two lines.

[Steve]

Thnx : )

I always feel like im formatting them wrong and axon usually cleans them up, but thats actually how i would have split it up. I have some stuff around here somewhere i wrote a while ago if i can find em i'll type them up.