Author Topic: Love Languages  (Read 175 times)

Mike

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Love Languages
« on: March 05, 2019, 12:48:33 AM »
Wondering, how many of you discussed your and your partner's love language?  While I question the scientific accuracy of it I did find it a useful and interesting discussion point between my wife and I.  We talked about it in the early part of dating and found that we are really well aligned.  Our top two were the same as well as our least and at about the same intensity.  This has made it easy to think about how to show affection in the way we both appreciate.

charlie

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2019, 03:13:54 AM »
Don't remember the specifics of whatever you're talking about. We did have discussions about "love language" like 10-15 years ago. I think ours are very different? But I don't know if it's the same as what you're talking about.

Mike

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2019, 07:54:04 AM »
Google "5 love languages" and you'll get the list I'm referring to.

Basically, the premise is that there are 5 general ways people express and receive love.

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Physical touch
  • Acts of service


The thought behind discussing it is to know how the other receives so you can make sure to express it in that way.

Jake

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2019, 09:30:19 AM »
My wife and I did the test as part of our counseling. The results were not a surprise however, but it is good to be aware of these types of things.
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Mike

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2019, 02:38:07 PM »
Were you two closely aligned or did you have different styles?

Jake

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2019, 05:39:33 PM »
Were you two closely aligned or did you have different styles?

We shared two - quality time ranked as number two for both of us, and gifts were least important. The others were vastly different
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tgm

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #6 on: March 05, 2019, 09:02:13 PM »
We also discussed this in our premarital stuff we did. Turns out we're quite different. I think that's probably one of the harder parts of our relationship since we each tend to do the thing we align with and miss what the other would like.
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ober

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2019, 10:02:30 PM »
My wife and I did the test as part of our counseling. The results were not a surprise however, but it is good to be aware of these types of things.
+1 - ours were somewhat different and it sparked some really deep, good conversations.  It really brought us close together.

charlie

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2019, 07:28:52 PM »
We might have done this... don't remember. We have quite different love languages I guess but it works somehow.

micah

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2019, 02:47:16 PM »
Here's a couple quick free quizzes I found online, purportedly giving you your results. Do they seem legit? Do they match what you feel you learned about yourself before?

https://www.mindful-company.com/blogs/notebook/the-5-love-languages-quiz - said I was "words of affirmation"
https://365tests.com/personality-tests/what-is-your-love-language/ - said I was "physical touch"

I could believe either of those. Should I just buy the book?

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Mike

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #10 on: March 12, 2019, 06:01:19 PM »
Don't buy the book.  Heck, I haven't even looked at the book.

I don't remember which quizzes I did but yeah the one I did seemed to match how I operate.  My first two were physical touch and quality time and my last was gifts and those are bang on.

micah

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #11 on: March 12, 2019, 10:23:19 PM »
I found a PDF of the official 30 question quiz on their website. I'm solidly in the "words of affirmation" category with physical touch and quality time an even-ish second.  I kinda think quality time ranked higher than it might be because of either the given other option it was frequently paired up with or because lately i've been wishing for more quality time with my SO, even though its doesn't feel like something I've sought as much of in the past.

If I had to guess my wife's, I'd assume "Quality Time" is #1 followed by "receiving gifts."  It'd be interesting if she'd take the quiz.  She's not really the "touchy-feely, lets talk about our love and analyze our personalities" type though.

Everybody affirm me now. I need it or else it means you don't love me!

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Mike

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #12 on: March 13, 2019, 11:12:57 AM »
You're awesome and doing a great job!

ober

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Re: Love Languages
« Reply #13 on: March 13, 2019, 09:10:18 PM »
You're feeling your way through this mess and doing what I think are the right steps.  Honestly the quiz is a good thing for her to do too even if she isn't touchy-feely.  Talking about that stuff doesn't have to be all mushy.  It's about getting what you both want and it sounds like that would be very good for both of you right now.