Author Topic: The bloodless stone  (Read 2656 times)

[stealth]

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The bloodless stone
« on: April 30, 2005, 11:20:28 PM »
Oh my friend you haven't changed
You're looking rough and living strange
And I know you've got a taste for it too*




Time loses track of itself
when time's not accounted for -
like the unbalanced mind of the heart
that leads the charge against logic,
hands on the throat of tomorrow's plans
choking senseless all hope of reprieve.

Another victim of samsara;
Eternally to romance the bloodless stone.




* "Don't Look Back Into The Sun" - The Libertines
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[stealth]

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2005, 01:42:59 AM »
Coming back to re-read this I really am very pleased.  One of my best efforts.
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Jake

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #2 on: May 02, 2005, 10:24:25 PM »
I really enjoyed this one Stealthy - although I don't quite agree with your message and sentiment. I think you could work with these two lines:

that leads the charge against logic,
hands on the throat

maybe instead of "hands on the throat" follow your "charge" thought, and use something just as effective but related to an army's charge.

edit::btw, was your avatar matched to this poem ;)
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

[stealth]

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #3 on: May 02, 2005, 10:31:56 PM »
>>although I don't quite agree with your message and sentiment.<<

I'm interested that you say this - care to expand?

>>maybe instead of "hands on the throat" follow your "charge" thought, and use something just as effective but related to an army's charge.<<

Well I kind of took it as a "one man army", but that's not entirely clear.

>>btw, was your avatar matched to this poem<<

Never thought of the connection TBH.
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Jake

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2005, 10:55:25 PM »
>>I'm interested that you say this - care to expand?<<

Sure: I think you should know by now that my outlook on love is a tad bit different - although I could maybe see myself feel that way right after a shutdown from someone I've been romanticizing about for days. But overall, my outlook is more optimistic than that, which your poem decrees.
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

[stealth]

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2005, 11:13:41 PM »
Well love's a terrible thing in the wrong hands.  To me it's more about the dangers of letting go without cause/effect being taken into account.  Whether that's falling headfirst onto the pavement of love and cracking your skull open for the entire world to see, or something more sinister or playful.
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Jake

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2005, 11:20:03 PM »
what is this "entire world" you speak off...often time that is just how you feel - but in reality it is only within you. No one notices - no one.
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

[stealth]

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2005, 11:34:28 PM »
>>what is this "entire world" you speak off...often time that is just how you feel - but in reality it is only within you. <<

The world we create for ourselves.

>>No one notices - no one.<<

Now who's being a pessimist? :D
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Jake

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #8 on: May 02, 2005, 11:40:28 PM »
but I am not mad that no one notices - so rather an existentialist than a pessimist ;) but since no one notices, whats the point of prolonging this feeling in your being?
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

[stealth]

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2005, 11:54:19 PM »
>>but since no one notices, whats the point of prolonging this feeling in your being?<<

To eternally romance the bloodless stone ;)
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Jake

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The bloodless stone
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2005, 12:00:10 AM »
hehe - good one stealthy :p
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.